Suddenly someone comes into your life who moves you enough to make you want to do something together. Don’t let the enthusiasm make you lose your mind… and your potential partner. There are attitudes that scare away any man or woman. Even more so if both of you are just getting to know each other. Here are some of the behaviors that will make any potential lover put his or her feet up.
- Don’t ask too many questions. The basics, of course, but no one feels like being subjected to a police interrogation. It’s logical to want to know the marital status of the person you’re meeting, but from there to asking them how much they earn at their job, for example, is a long way off.
- Don’t bombard with messages. Not with SMS or Whatsapp or chats or anything. Nobody likes to feel cornered. The exchange has to be fluid and, for this to happen, it is important that the times of both converge.
- Do not be repetitive. Whatever you say, ask or do, do it only once. If the other person is able – or willing – to record your action or your saying, he/she will do so. Silence also speaks.
- Avoid desperation. If you are dreaming of getting married in a bank, having five children or going with that person to live in a mountain, avoid emphasizing it on the first few dates.
- Step by step: if you have just met him/her, don’t “settle” in someone else’s territory with your belongings. Nobody believes in forgetting toothbrushes and the like anymore. If you are not invited, don’t invade.
- Avoid talking about the past. Reserve your catalog of sentimental stories for your personal diary. If the relationship takes hold, you can both get to know each other and confide more things to each other.
- Don’t crowd him/her by trying to pull him/her into your world all at once. Introductions to family, friends, etc., should be gradual, like everything else in this budding relationship.
- Don’t exaggerate your virtues. We have talked ad nauseam about being authentic. You don’t need to “inflate” your goodness. Whoever loves you will love you for what you are, not for what you exaggerate.