I can bet that upon reading the title of this article many people are going to be confused. Probably the question that comes up is, “If I’m in a couple, how can I continue to invest in other relationships?” Well, this article addresses just that issue. Relationships don’t boil down to couple relationships (spousal relationship, lovers, etc.). You had a social life before you were in a relationship, remember?
It seems obvious, but the truth is that many people seemingly forget that from the moment they start being in a couple. The desire to have someone was so great that, when it happens, everything seems to disappear and the center becomes, simply, the new love. Friends look for you and can no longer find you. The family no longer has a member at the dinners where everyone is present. Does it really have to be like that? My answer is no.
Whether we like it or not, we are plural people. In our lives, we generally circulate in different places, such as home, work, study, the beach, a restaurant, a discotheque, the park… In these places we relate to different people: parents, siblings, grandparents, cousins, close friends, partners, work colleagues, not so close friends, more than friends… Each of these relationships is extremely important to us, just as we are important in each relationship. And this diversity of relationships makes us who we are. That is what enriches our lives.
When we dedicate ourselves only to one relationship, or even to a single objective, we lose an important part of the richness we have. A person who sees nothing beyond work, for example, will certainly see his or her social life impaired. Similarly, when someone is integrally dedicated to a couple relationship, the other relationships end up not receiving the importance they deserve.
I understand that at the moment a couple relationship begins, it is natural that the two of you would rather be together than be among friends or family. Finally, the relationship is recent, the two are just getting to know each other and, of course, are head over heels in love. However, as time goes by, if the other relationships are put aside, the tendency is that, little by little, they become more and more distant.
Another very important point is that when the “exclusive dedication” occurs only on the part of one of the partners, the most common thing is that the other ends up feeling suffocated, overloaded. And it is not for less, since it is a tiring responsibility to be the only reason for someone’s life. For that reason, “forgetting” about the other relationships not only harms them but also harms the couple’s own relationship.
But how do we maintain all these relationships while we are in a couple? First of all, it is necessary to be aware of the importance of these relationships and really consider them fundamental to your life. With that in mind, a little organization and good will is enough and it will not be difficult to reconcile everything and everyone.
Appreciate the invitations you receive. If a work colleague invites you to his birthday, it is a sign that he cares about your presence. So, there’s nothing better than valuing it too. If a friend is going through a difficult time and needs to talk, make time for it to maintain a strong friendship. In addition to accepting invitations, be inviting. Propose a family program, bringing everyone together in a way that has not happened for a long time. If you know how to divide the time well, there is room for everyone.
Remember that your partner does not need to be present on every occasion. You can go out with friends without your partner or even go to a family or work party unaccompanied. If the relationship is solid and mature, both of you will understand that the other has a life of his or her own and that this is desirable and healthy. For each other and for both of you.