I’m not the one who’s going to tell you that love letters are outdated since I’m working hard to show you how beautiful, romantic and more than anything else in a couple’s communication! Here, we talk about love letters, but there are also all the letters that I call “questioning”, these letters after an argument, these letters after a crisis of jealousy, these letters to tell him how much you miss him… They are essential to make you hear and especially, so that the other listens to you. How do you want to express all your feelings through a simple SMS? How can you say everything you have on your heart in front of your loved one without breaking into tears and without being cut off? Letters! This is the solution
Letters and communication
The letters really allow both partners to understand each other: the writer puts down his words, clarifies the situation, takes a step back and can already propose solutions. The person who receives the letter has a better understanding of the situation and the feelings it has caused in the partner.
When one is fed up with the other, with his behavior, one tends to make verbal reproaches: worse kills love! We also have a tendency to cry and not be clear in what we say: the impulsive effect of the verbal sometimes pushes us to say things that we don’t mean and that deeply hurt the other person. When things don’t go well in a relationship, I think it’s useful, even essential, to put all your feelings in writing: the other person won’t take it badly and the situation can only calm down. Once the letter is read, then both partners can discuss the situation calmly without fear of hurtful words coming out.
As for love letters, they are necessary because they are the most beautiful of gifts. It is an object in its own right. Whoever receives the letter will be able to read it again, touch it, cry over it, tear it off, stick it back together… It is a treasure and a beautiful way to express your love to the one you love.
Is writing a letter cowardly?
Letters have absolutely nothing to do with cowardice, on the contrary! What is cowardly is to flee a discussion, not to provoke it.
When we express things that upset us face-to-face, we often run into arguments because the words come out of anger or sorrow. Writing allows us to take distance and to externalize our discomfort while sharing it with our partner. It takes courage to write because the written word remains as opposed to words thrown in the air.
Can letters solve couple problems?
Writing a letter can solve couple problems because it is already a way of asking them. Often, we blame our partner for a lot of things, but only one of them is the cause of our discomfort. Sometimes, while writing, we realize that it’s not the other person’s problem but our own. For example, a few weeks ago I wrote an angry letter to a woman who was angry at her husband for going out too much. When I sent her the letter, she said, “Actually, reading your letter Leah, I realize that I am very jealous, I have to deal with this problem on my own.
So writing is a way to understand the situation, to distance oneself from it, to better understand oneself and to get the necessary listening from one’s partner. Indeed, when we argue, there is often one who explains the situation (by shouting, crying, getting angry) and the interlocutor only listens halfway because he concentrates more on his partner’s aggressive or tearful tone than on the substance. Finally, when writing, one avoids cuts. During a face-to-face discussion, there are two of us and the other one cuts us off, so we forget what we wanted to say and bounce back on the new statements.