How to get out of a toxic relationship? The steps :
If you really want to get out of a toxic relationship, I strongly recommend Marion Blique’s book: I stop toxic relationships.
1/ Understand that we are solely responsible for our emotions
Human beings tend to put the blame on others. I’m depressed because my boyfriend treats me badly. I’m in burn-out because of my humiliation from my hump. Misfortune has fallen on my life since she entered it .
FALSE. First of all, we are solely responsible for our emotions: no one makes cries come out of our mouths or tears come out of our eyes. Second, we have a choice even though many tend to forget it. No, it’s not easy to make decisions, but we have the choice to make them. And if you believe that it is “because of” so-and-so that you are in trouble, only you can decide to end your relationship, whatever it is.
2/ Walk away
If you don’t feel able to leave a toxic person, at least get away from them for a while. You need to find yourself again. To learn to love yourself again, to know your true worth. If you only live through the eyes of your toxic partner, you will never be able to be fulfilled in your life.
3/ To accept your emotions
Our emotions are not there by chance and although you may sometimes think they are invasive, they are there to help you. Anger underlines “the lack of respect for our limits, the need to overcome an obstacle or highlights a situation of frustration or dissatisfaction”.
Sadness shows “the loss of something or someone we cared about.
Fear warns us that “there is a threat to our well-being and prepares us to protect ourselves.
Joy tells us that we are “growing, connected and open.
4/ Understanding Relationship Styles, Including One’s Own
Also in Marion Blique’s on his book, explains that there are different styles of relationships and that it is important to know where you stand. In order to understand our relational attachment, we need to integrate that “we reproduce the patterns we set up during our childhood”, as I explained above.
For Marion Blique, there are 4 styles of relational attachment:
The “Secures” are those people who act according to their context and who know how to carry out their life. They feel a real sense of security, the sensation of being able to regulate their emotions. They are generally confident in themselves and in others.
The “avoiders” flee their emotions and keep a great emotional distance in order to protect themselves. They have a large shell and often take refuge in silence. They are full of doubts about their relationship. This often comes from a mother who is either too intrusive or too absent.
Fusionnels are passionate people who lose themselves totally in their feelings, their emotions, which they listen to attentively. They are often jealous or even possessive and almost always in emotional dependence. They have great difficulty with autonomy. This often comes from a mother who has not given them enough security.
“The chaotic ones:
The chaotic ones constantly seek to be reassured. In spite of them, these people will often throw themselves body and soul into conflictual relationships. The chaotic people alternate between the need for tenderness and rejection, between protection and liberation.” They are always afraid of being rejected and abandoned and, unconsciously, do everything to make this happen. In the highs and lows, everything is lived 200% of the time. »