Certain behaviors in children are called bad parenting. However, these 5 habits are unavoidable – and even positive for child development.
Children lose their self-control
You tell your child in a calm tone, “Leave the glass, please!” And what happens? The cute creature knocks over the glass the next moment. Those who conclude from the child’s behavior that he or she has had a bad upbringing are doing the parents an injustice.
American studies show that the brain regions responsible for self-control are not fully developed until adulthood. This basically means that children can’t help it if they act impulsively – even against their parents’ wishes. In most cases, it has nothing to do with bad or wrong upbringing.
Children give free rein to their feelings
Adults tend to suppress their feelings. Visible emotions have no place in public – they are generally expected to be hidden.
However, parents who also train their children to keep their feelings under wraps are not doing them any favors. Children tend to cry when they are sad, laugh out loud when they are happy, scream when they are angry. These openly acted out feelings should not be forbidden by parents per se. The goal should not be to prohibit children from relating to their feelings, but merely not to express them excessively. In other words, the child should not learn to suppress anger, but to show it in moderation. Those who completely deprive their children of expressing their feelings can cause psychological damage.
Children want to move all the time
By nature, children have a strong urge to move. Whether romping, running or roughhousing – everything seems more attractive to them than sitting still. So fidgeting and restless children only indicate that they lack activity.
Instead of telling them to sit still, parents should accommodate their children’s urge to move, such as by taking them to the playground or on a bike ride. This balances children out, makes them calmer and, above all, happier.
Children don’t want sensory overload
If children become whiny and fidgety, they are often said to be hyperactive. However, this is not necessarily true. More often, the cause is stimulus overload.
Children, just like adults, feel increasingly rushed, have early “appointments” to the sports club, music lessons, tutoring or the children’s birthday party. So even children feel stressed – and are overwhelmed by it.
Experts advise giving children enough time to play between their “appointments.” But here, too, the rule is: fewer toys are more – because too much choice can also overwhelm children.
Children want to make their own decisions
Sometimes the child insists on going to school in that T-shirt. Or to put a slice of cheese on his Nutella bread. Or to do his own hairstyle. And what do the parents do in such situations? Insist on the warm sweater to school, a separation between Nutella and cheese and a clean braid.
Educational experts, however, advise letting children experiment for themselves on such “harmless” everyday issues. That it is too cold for a T-shirt, the child will quickly notice for himself. The fact that cheese with Nutella doesn’t taste particularly good will be noticed after just one bite. But basically, the proof of the pudding is in the eating – and children learn most effectively and quickly from their own experience.