Don’t cheat with someone else
The first unwritten golden rule we cover is, of course, cheating. Nothing is more painful than finding out that your lover has shared the bed with someone else. Therefore, this is one of the most important rules in the list. Talk to each other about what you mean by cheating. One of you thinks flirting is fine, but the other thinks it’s not done.
By making a list together, you also have a clear overview on paper, so you can always fall back on it. The basis of a stable relationship is to have respect for each other.
Do not lie to each other
It is sometimes said that a little white lie is okay, but the second unwritten rule in a stable relationship is that you never lie to each other or keep anything secret from the other. Unless it’s a birthday surprise of course. Always be open with each other and discuss it together if something is bothering you. Do not lie about it or keep it from your partner, because sooner or later the other will find out anyway. In addition, it is not pleasant – for both parties – if there is lying in a relationship.
Don’t swear at each other
It may happen that you argue and actually that is only healthy in a stable relationship. However, a third unwritten rule is not to swear at each other. You can apologize as often as you want, but you cannot erase it from your partner’s memory.
Besides, it may just happen that sooner or later you or your partner will bring up the hurtful words again in another argument. Try to talk it out in a calm manner or, if necessary, take a ten-minute break.
Do not make generalizations
Have you ever caught yourself making generalizations? It happens to the best of us, but it’s better to leave it alone in a stable relationship. The fourth unwritten rule is therefore not to make statements in a discussion like:
“You never listen to me.”
“You never do x.”
“Why do you always do x now?”
Of course your partner listens to you, but in the moment of anger it feels like this never happens. In reality, your partner does things right more often than wrong. When you realize this, you find out that you can convey the words in a different way:
“I feel better when you give me a compliment once in a while.”
“Can I have your full attention at x.”
“Do you have time to discuss x later?”
Don’t argue in the bedroom
A discussion is quick, but should it get out of hand, a fifth unwritten rule of a stable relationship is not to do it in the bedroom. Or just before you go to sleep. After all, this place is needed to unwind, to sleep, to snack, to watch TV.
If you start an argument or a discussion here, it will be associated with conflict and negative energy will hang in this place. It is then difficult to change the bedroom into a place of peace.
