… and bring us even closer to our partner
Sometimes we understand each other without words. That is wonderful! But just as important are conversations that strengthen our love and let it grow. And give us a deep-rooted feeling of happiness.
There are a few questions that strengthen love, make it a little bigger, more stunning and beautiful. Because they get down to the nitty-gritty – but they don’t want to count the relationship, they want to enrich it. Without words, this warm, constant feeling of “you and I forever” rarely happens.
But you don’t take the chance every day to find out whether your partner or yourself is (still) completely happy. Often the stress of everyday life prevents you from doing so. Sometimes you find the time together too beautiful to talk about important things. Sometimes you find the time too annoying to talk about important things. And sometimes you simply don’t have the guts to listen to the answers.
But that’s nonsense. Because even if an honest statement from your loved one should be hard to digest for a moment: The bottom line usually brings about a small change of course that can only do the relationship good. Because you are a little more careful with each other again, with this precious happiness. So just throw them out there – these seven questions that strengthen love:
in which moments do you feel closest to me?
This positively charged introductory question is perfect for feeling your way through. After all, love is made up of thousands of teeny tiny moments that intensify cohesion. From the intoxicating joie de vivre that the other person radiates (e.g. on a joint hiking tour) to the feeling of happiness that you feel when the other person instinctively finds the right words to cheer you up.
If you know these small, big scenarios that make your partner’s heart beat a little faster, you can sprinkle them into your everyday life more often – and provide an extra dose of euphoria.
What do you want more of from me?
Now it’s getting a bit more to the point. We love some traits in our partner – but unfortunately he is stingy with them. Maybe he’s not even aware of how great we think his penchant for puns is. And we, in turn, have no idea that he appreciates our composure and confidence so much. Or maybe everyday life just gets in the way – and suddenly we rarely philosophize with him about life until late at night. Or we’re no longer so interested in his latest acquisition in the record collection. Instead, we say goodbye at 9:30 p.m. with a mumbled “Gotta go to bed” – without exchanging any effusive affection. If this happens frequently, the partnership gradually drifts into lovelessness. So it’s good if we make ourselves aware of our longings in good time.
Do you still like me?
Okay, this question may sound superficial, but attraction is important in a partnership. It’s not even about a superduper figure, but maybe we sometimes want the other person to have a … minimally different look. Maybe he thinks we shouldn’t always cover up our freckles, which he loves so much. And we secretly wish that instead of the old heavy metal t-shirt he’s owned since his high school days, he’d throw on his casual suit jacket once in a while.
Occasionally, in the course of a partnership, you lose a little sense of what the other person likes. Yes, and maybe you also tend to let yourself go a little over time. But fortunately you can change that.
Do you sometimes feel like you’re missing out on something?
Oha, starting this dialog can be quite an effort. After all, it reveals whether you are some kind of … a kind of stumbling block. Perhaps your partner has always flirted with a trip around the world – but has left it alone out of consideration for your relationship. Or you yourself would like to work abroad – and don’t do it for his sake. And if there isn’t this one big dream that is now gathering dust in a castle in the air, you may have neglected small, cherished rituals for your partner because he or she ticks differently. It may be that these sacrificed wishes play no role in the relationship. But it may also be that they become bigger and bigger in secret. And at some point you get angry with your partner, saying: “Without you, I would have been …”. The good thing is that if you talk about it before the frustration starts, you will certainly find a way to integrate such desires into the relationship. And maybe even start a “freshly in love revival”, because these actions can really inspire the partnership.
When are we better as one than alone?
And … Tush! This question is something like the Black Forest cake among the relationship questions that strengthen love. At least it makes you similarly happy. Because it makes you realize how well you complement each other. What deficits you have that the other person makes up for with his or her strengths. And vice versa. Teamwork carries happiness in itself. Because that’s how we become the best version of ourselves – because we carry each other along, grow beyond ourselves together. And as a couple, we dare to do things that we would never dare to do alone – whether it’s raising children or renovating our little house in the country.
Are we spending enough time together – or even too much?
Sometimes you feel you spend more time with your colleagues than with your partner. With him between supper and bedtime only exchange phrases – instead of really listening to each other when each tells about his day. Let alone really experiencing something new and exciting together. Or you realize: Hey, we’re only together as a double pack – and you’d like to have more space. Talking about it helps to keep love in balance before the other person becomes dissatisfied and this spreads to other areas of the relationship. Often you like to nag away – which can be quite annoying for the other person.
how do you see us and our life in 5, 10 and 15 years?
We know our partner inside out, future plans included. At least, that’s what we think – and we’re often damn wrong. It is therefore good to bring ourselves “up to speed”. After all, only when you have the same goals can you work to achieve them. Practical: Making plans gives the relationship depth, welds you together. And it creates a lot of anticipation – of course for the classic: the cuddly children playing hide-and-seek in the garden. To their own four walls in the middle of the trendy neighborhood. Or the big dog that they both want to have later – without having known about the other’s four-legged dream.