No two people are perfectly alike, and that’s a good thing. In relationships, however, more or less compromises are always necessary. Few people know that they can also destroy love.
According to the dictionary, a compromise is an “agreement by mutual concessions”. Ideally, and in a relationship, this means that in the event of a conflict, both partners find a solution that satisfies both. Of course, everyone has to give up something in the process, but after all, that’s necessary and strengthens love – right?
The ideal case: A compromise that makes both partners happy?
This ideal case is possible, but also relatively unlikely. After all, the need for a compromise only arises from a conflict in which two people want different things. So in order to reach a compromise, something also has to be given up or renounced. And this is where it gets hairy: Because in compromises, both partners rarely gain or lose the same amount.
Compromise is not just compromise
A compromise is not the best solution for every problem: What works wonderfully and makes sense with the to-dos in the household, can destroy the happiness of a partner and in the course also the love with important life questions. Constantly meeting halfway can end exactly there: halfway. Those who never reach their goal are often only half satisfied in the long run.
These compromises can destroy the relationship
Your partner says that your clothing style is boring and he finds it embarrassing that you are known and popular among your friends for particularly dirty jokes? You should not compromise on your personality.
This is where it gets tricky: professional situations in particular often present couples with difficult choices. Shift work or professions in different cities severely limit couple time, but on the other hand, no one should give up their dream job for a relationship either. The risk of regretting it later and holding it against the other person is great.
For a relationship, you should not give up your independence. Whether a hobby or evenings with friends: In a partnership, both partners should also undertake and experience independently of each other. If you always just squat on each other, you will have little to talk about at the end of the day.
family and friends
You should never give up the family or friends you love for a relationship. If the partner does not get along with another favorite person, the point of independence takes effect in an emergency.
wishes for the future
He has already decided at 18 that he never wants to have children, while she wants nothing more than a baby… There are wishes and dreams for the future that you should not give up for a partner. A happy relationship doesn’t work without two happy people.
The solution: prioritize compromises
Compromise is essential to relationships: However, the trick is to decide when a compromise is actually the best solution. When it comes to really important things, you shouldn’t always just go halves, but above all check how important something is for your partner or yourself.