Falling Out Of Love: Is It Possible And If So, How?

Some ask themselves the question because they are unhappily in love, others are afraid that their feelings for their partner might be lost one day: Can you fall out of love and if so, how?

In the Duden dictionary, “to fall out of love” is defined as “to stop loving [each other, someone]” – which hits the nail on the head, but this definition hardly does justice to the complexity of the phenomenon. The word can also be understood in completely different ways: “falling out of love” can mean that we want to stop loving someone or, on the contrary, that we are afraid of losing our feelings for a loved one (for example, in a long-term relationship). We got to the bottom of the phenomenon of “falling out of love” and came to the following conclusions.

Is it possible to fall in love?
That you can fall out of love in the sense that you lose your love for a person without meaning to is a fact: couples who have spent many years together and break up because they no longer love each other are unfortunately not a rare phenomenon: falling out of love can range from “we only have friendly feelings for each other” to “we can no longer speak to each other or look each other in the eye”.

The far more difficult question to answer is whether it is possible to fall out of love willingly if one does not want to or is not allowed to love a person for one reason or another. Here, first of all, human nature stands in our way. Who doesn’t know it: what we can’t or aren’t allowed to have, we often desire the most. Nevertheless, there are strategies and ways that make it easier to fall out of love and let go. Of course, we can’t simply turn off strong feelings, but we can certainly influence them.

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I need to let go of someone: How do I fall out of love?
There is no “love on/off switch” in our minds. To fall out of love and to be able to let go of someone is a process and takes time, which you have to allow yourself.

the status quo: objectively evaluate and accept it
It’s best to write down clearly why you need to fall out of love. Does he have a girlfriend, does he simply not love you, or is he even harming you? A black-and-white list sounds redundant, but especially in the midst of confused and strong feelings, it can be the anchor that keeps you grounded. Writing a falling out of love list also allows you to accept: Clear words on a piece of paper sort out the back and forth and pros and cons between heart and head.

separation: draw a clear line
If you want to fall out of love, you should neither follow your love object on social media nor drink coffee with him regularly: Only a clear breakup can prevent feelings from finding ever new nourishment.

Grief: Admit to being sad.
No matter how “wrong” or “stupid” your feelings are: Admit to feeling them and being sad. Talk to a trusted person and talk about what is going on inside you that is bothering you.

distraction: do something good for yourself and strengthen your self-confidence.
Of course, you need time to curl up, watch romantic movies while paying homage to the chocolate god. Being sad and even feeling a little sorry for yourself is part of it and perfectly okay. But at some point, there comes a point when you should definitely seek distraction! We’re not talking about work or any chores here: Do nice things with girlfriends or finally sign up for that pole dancing or photography class you’ve been wanting to take forever.

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fall in love again!
Many people are lucky enough to have love just happen to them. If that doesn’t happen for you, but you feel like you’re ready for something new, don’t be afraid to seek happiness: The goal doesn’t have to be the big love – small, exciting flirtations that get the feelings going and push the self-esteem are also nice and help with the final falling out of love.