Finally waking up together, helping each other with boring household chores and having breakfast together every day with your partner sounds cosy, doesn’t it? And of course it is, but when you move in together there are some things in your relationship that can change.
One of the biggest steps you can take when it comes to a relationship is moving in together. And yes, before that, you or your partner may have basically been living with the other anyway, so an apartment has really just been storage. But whether that’s the case or not, the dynamics of your relationship will change when you move in together “for real”, which may require the two of you to work a little extra at times. “Discussing potential problems before the move is a great way to avoid conflict When we move in with someone, we know a lot about them and we can’t predict everything, which is why communication after the move is also important. Being able to calmly talk about things that come up as time goes on will greatly improve your relationship,”
You have to make an effort to date
The advice that you should keep going on dates together no matter how long you’ve been together may be hackneyed – but so true. Just because you might eat dinner together every day doesn’t mean it counts as dating. Decide on a night where you go out and find something cosy and fun together (don’t forget to make yourselves look a little extra pretty for each other). Go to the movies, eat at a restaurant, play pool, play a round of mini golf. Just do whatever you want! As long as it doesn’t involve Netflix & chilling in your soft clothes at home on the couch.
Your plans are no longer just about you
When you’re single, you don’t have to worry at all about what anyone else thinks about you going away for a spontaneous weekend. When you get together with someone, you might check with your partner to make sure they haven’t planned something for both of you before you just take off. But when you’ve moved in together, there are more things than a weekend getaway that you need to check with each other before plans are put into action. Maybe it’s not just heading off to work out when the other is working and your partner has ordered furniture to arrive sometime between 3pm and 8pm. And telling your group of friends that of course they can sleep over for a couple of nights when they come to visit might need to be double-checked with your partner first.
You can’t avoid each other after a fight
Being able to go to your place or tell your partner to go to theirs when you’ve had a fight is a thing of the past. When you live together (especially if it’s a small apartment), it’s hard to just avoid each other when you’ve had a fight. Sure, someone can go out for a walk or something for a while – but how appealing is that if it’s freezing cold outside? This is where being able to talk to each other and maybe even say “now I’m going to be angry for a while” is really important.
Your moods will affect each other
If you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and just know that the day is going to be crap, it’s hard not to let that mood take a toll on your partner. But, of course, since there are always two sides to every coin, this also applies when you’re extra happy. Good and positive energy spreads too!
You decide what you can and cannot accept and tolerate in each other
When you don’t live with each other and see each other all the time, it’s easy to hide your flaws and less flattering qualities from each other. But when you’ve moved in together, it’s not so easy. You might realize that your partner doesn’t keep order at all while you’re a really neat freak, or your partner might realize that you’re losing out on kind of all the important things you know. When you move in together, you really get to know each other, and then it’s up to each of you to decide if your partner’s good qualities outweigh the bad ones.
You may start to take each other for granted
“You don’t know what you have until it’s gone” is an old and true cliché. It’s important when you move in together to remember to still give each other small compliments, hug and kiss each other when you see each other after a long day and show that you appreciate the other person in different ways.
