You trust each other.
Trust is one of the cornerstones of a relationship. It should be obvious to everyone, but it’s not. But the best and clearest sign that you are in a healthy and good relationship is that you feel total trust in your partner – and that you feel your partner feels the same about you.
You are best friends…
Your partner knows everything about you – and loves you anyway. You confide in each other like you would a close friend, i.e. you keep no secrets from each other. You enjoy spending time with each other, both by yourself and with others. When listing your best friends, it goes without saying to mention your partner. It sounds obvious – but it’s not obvious to everyone.
…but still have your own friends.
Having your own friends that you hang out with on a one-to-one basis is important. Hanging out with your own friends is just as important as you hanging out with each other. The essence of this point is that it should be perfectly calm for those of you who are not. No one is jealous and no one is demanding reports every two hours – that would be a sign of a NOT healthy relationship. Go back to point 1.
You don’t get angry at each other over small things.
When I find myself sulking over trivialities caused by my partner (even though they can be annoying enough) I always tend to ask myself if it’s worth spending the time and energy on it. IF one of us (horrible thought!) were to suffer from an illness and time left together was limited, is this really a point to spend time and energy on? And every, EVERY, time I come to the conclusion that it is not. Case closed.
You are struck by the fact that you love each other – every day.
Having been together for a long time doesn’t mean that everything should become commonplace and that you take each other for granted. It can be that way – but it shouldn’t be that way. In a healthy relationship, you’re struck at some point every day by how lucky you’ve been to meet your partner. And you feel every day (with a few exceptions perhaps) that you love your partner. Just don’t forget to tell each other that.
You still appreciate each other.
Even if you’ve seen his choice of clothes a hundred times already (every day, shirt and tie), you tell him he’s nice – partly because it makes him happy but mostly because you actually think he’s nice.
You like to spend a whole weekend together, just the two of you, the popcorn bowl and the latest TV show.
The weekend is coming. Your partner is in charge of the candy bowl and you bring the login to the right movie site. You jump into your one piece and your partner presses play. 12 episodes of Breaking Bad later, neither of you has yet reflected on the whole thing. Perfect!
You like to walk hand in hand.
Nothing wrong with a little public affection now and then. Spread the love!
