Once you’ve been together for a while, the new love and the intense phase has evolved into a deeper and more secure love. And while this is absolutely wonderful, you can easily fall into old ruts. Then the relationship needs a push, anything to get back to that wonderful feeling you had in the beginning.
Do the same things you did at the beginning of your relationship
After a while together, you’ll easily get comfortable and find routines that you live by. Evenings at home with tacos and watching TV shows. This can easily become routine. If you recognize yourself, think about what you did at the beginning of your relationship. Most likely you were making up new things, being more spontaneous and adventurous. So why not hook up with your partner in the elevator, book a hotel night in another city or simply cook a new recipe on Friday.
Tell us what you want
When you first got together, you were probably so in love and up on your crush that you didn’t discuss exactly everything important in a relationship. Maybe now you’re walking around thinking that he should understand what you want after so long together. Fact: no one can know what you want if you don’t tell them. If it’s important to you to have a few hours each week to yourself, say so.
And find out what they want
If you haven’t been completely open about how you want your relationship to be, chances are your partner feels the same way. Ask your partner how they see your relationship and what they think is important. And hey, just because they think it’s important doesn’t mean you have to agree. Just make sure your partner feels good and enjoys your relationship (as long as it’s not something you feel bad about). Being honest with each other is the first step towards a better relationship because then you’ll know what to work on next.
Change the topics of discussion
Ask “How was your day?” can quickly become stale. Instead, ask “What made you smile today?” or “What was the hardest thing you had to go through today?” and the like. You’re likely to hear a different answer that will open the door to a new discussion.
Create quality time on weekdays
Don’t forget to set aside time together. Turn off the TV and stay on the couch if you want – but talk to each other. It can be about anything, maybe the programme you just watched. Or about your future together. The main thing is that you give each other your full attention and don’t have distractions like TV or mobile phones nearby.
Tell your partner everything you appreciate about them
How often do you tell your partner what it is you appreciate about them? Probably not very often. Tell them how proud you are of your partner or how much you appreciate that they always listen. That you think they kiss like a god or that they make the best chanterelle soup in the world.
Continue to be curious about each other
Do you remember what it was like at the beginning of your relationship, when you were still dating? You couldn’t get enough of the other person and everything from what they ate for breakfast to what they were thinking about before bed was interesting. After a while you stop being curious, usually when you think you know your partner well. But we continue to evolve and grow throughout life. What your partner thought or thought six months ago may not be true today.
Sometimes we accidentally hurt our partner’s feelings without meaning to or even thinking it’s something to be upset or sad about. If your partner feels sorry for something you have done, you should apologise. For real. It shows that you care about your partner’s feelings and want them to feel good.