You can’t just say to yourself “Okay, now I’ve decided to love myself more!” and expect that phrase to work like a magic formula. There are no instant ways to love yourself more. Your actions are the engine, they set everything in motion; it’s what you decide to do that matters so much to get, step by step, to love yourself more. It takes time and small changes. It’s no use telling yourself that you want to love yourself more if you always put your needs last, if you don’t have emotionally fulfilling relationships, if you constantly judge and blame yourself for what you’ve done in the past.
Here are 3 steps that will help you have a better relationship with yourself and therefore love yourself more.
Take care of your relationship with yourself
I believe a good relationship with yourself is the cornerstone to loving yourself more. After all, if we don’t fully love ourselves, how can we truly love those around us? And that’s why how we relate to ourselves matters so much.
Surely we all have certain expectations of ourselves. And we judge ourselves because we could have done better in a certain situation, because we could have made a better decision. But you can’t turn back the clock to change your choice, can you? So, from that point of view, it doesn’t help to blame yourself, to have regrets, remorse and regret. You’re not perfect, it’s normal to make mistakes sometimes. The important thing is to learn from unfortunate choices and, in this way, make better and better decisions.
Besides, you were probably trying to make the best decision at the time. Based on the knowledge and information available to you, of course. If you later came to believe that you made the wrong choice, that’s because in the meantime – precisely because of the choice you made – you have acquired new forms of interpretation and have come to see the bigger picture. So don’t be too hard on yourself, forgive yourself!
Spend time with yourself
I think we often get so caught up with all sorts of adult life issues and responsibilities that we don’t allocate time for just ourselves. It seems like there’s always something important coming up, always something we need to do, always on the run. Try to set aside some special time for yourself every day. Time where your needs and wants come first. Go for a walk, watch a movie, write in a journal. Or any activity that might help you clear your mind and relax your body. Inner balance is important.
Talking to yourself every day can help. 5-10 minutes, in the mirror. To see if you have forgotten to take care of yourself and resolve your inner conflicts, caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life.
Tell yourself you love yourself
Seriously, try it right now! Say your name out loud and that you love yourself. You’ll see it’s not as easy as it sounds. If you felt it wasn’t an authentic statement to yourself, if you didn’t feel to your core the truth behind those words, if you didn’t wholeheartedly believe that you love yourself, you still need to work on your relationship with yourself. Try to make that statement to yourself every day. It takes no more than 2 seconds. At some point, if you do a little introspection beforehand, you’ll finally come to believe yourself when you tell yourself you love yourself.
Cultivate quality relationships with those around you and feed off the interactions you have.
Each of us needs (in lesser or greater doses) socialization. Relationships with those around us contribute to our development and can help us flourish on all levels. And they certainly have a huge input into how we see ourselves and how much we love ourselves. We feel better when we help or encourage someone or when we communicate openly and collaborate with others. Together is the key word here. It creates a connection that benefits you both. How many times have you not felt great, but going out with a friend changes your mood? Quality relationships help you love yourself more. So laugh as much as you can, play as often as you can (after all, it’s not good to take ourselves seriously all the time) and share with others – authentically – the experiences you go through. And you’ll find that your self-perception will change for the better.