The internet is full of tips on how to be more self-confident. Not all of them work.
Maybe you’ve tried looking in the mirror and telling yourself you love yourself – it felt fake and didn’t help. Maybe you’ve tried saying daily affirmations for confidence – they didn’t work so well either. To each habit for confidence, you added a little reluctance.
At the same time, maybe your friends were helped by the above practices and you wondered why they didn’t work for you. Well, we are different and react to different things. Nothing new, right?
However, it turns out there is a habit for self-confidence that really works and it’s based on science. Here’s what it is!
The High Five Habit. High five yourself in the mirror, every morning!
Before you look askance at this practice, you need to understand how it works psychologically.
Mel Robbins, the author of the book that tells the story of the practice, says the habit is based on neurobics – a complex system of exercises for the brain.
“In this type of exercise, you choose a routine activity, like looking in the mirror every morning. Then, you combine the activity with two other elements. It’s something unexpected that involves your senses – a high five with yourself – and an associated emotion you want to feel – it can be confidence, strength, excitement and security,” explains the author.
In other words, when you high five yourself in the mirror (something you don’t normally do), the mind will associate the action with the message “bravo!”, “I trust you”, “you can do it”, “I’m proud of you!”.
What other benefits does this habit bring to your self-confidence?
As well as giving you confidence, the morning high five can give you more enthusiasm for the day ahead. Connecting to yourself will make you even more present, so you will approach things with authenticity, in line with your real self.
Plus, the habit will help you love yourself more and be more understanding of yourself, even on those days when you’ve been harshly critical and in a bad mood until evening.
Mel Robbins’ routine for a successful, self-confident morning
Get out of bed when the alarm goes off
As sweet as that snooze is, getting up as soon as the alarm goes off is far more beneficial than stalling. When you hit the snooze button, you’re not keeping the promise you made the night before when you set the time you want to wake up. This way, your brain understands that you don’t want to start the day and that you’re not willing to be there for yourself.
Try a statement that suits you
Many standard affirmations can be inappropriate or feel forced. That’s why, after you wake up, put both hands over your heart, breathe in deeply, and on the exhale say something you really believe. For example, “I am safe, I am loved and healthy”. Find the formula that works for you.
Make your bed
Yes, that thing you hated when you were little that your parents made you do. When you make your bed every morning, you show yourself to be disciplined and a person who never gives up. It sounds simple, but you’ll understand once you do it!
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The high five moment
Now is the time to look in the mirror, no matter how you feel. Look yourself in the eye, breathe, smile if you feel it, then high five yourself. You can even put an it post on the mirror to help you never forget your routine.
Get into your sportswear or clothes for a new day immediately
Even though pyjamas are very comfortable, staying dressed in them tells your brain “we can stay inactive, the day hasn’t started yet”.
Instead, if you get dressed in your sports gear, you’ll immediately be motivated to do some exercise. And if you have to start working out, dress in casual clothes that you feel confident in. It’s a habit that makes a difference!