You’ve probably experienced imposter syndrome in several areas of your life, especially your professional life. But did you know that it can also show up in your relationship?
Impostor syndrome can subtly manifest itself in your love life. However, when it does appear, it can easily ruin even the most beautiful moments.
If you’re not sure if you’re experiencing it, but you’re still curious, the things below will help you figure out if imposter syndrome is creeping into the relationship you’re in or the relationships you’re trying to cultivate.
5 clear signs that impostor syndrome is manifesting itself in your relationships
You always question the other person’s good intentions
You’ve been texting for a while, and now he’s asked you out on an official date. You’ve been together for a long time, and now he’s asked if you want to move in together. Or, more to the point, you’ve been proposed to!
All these moments make you excited at first, but then anxiety replaces happiness. Thoughts like “what if he’s actually pursuing something else?” start to appear. or “it sounds too good to be true”. Here are some early signs that you’re dealing with impostor syndrome on the romantic side.
Questioning your importance and value in the relationship
You’re past the first stage of the relationship, and now he’s invited you out with his friends or family. Instead of being happy and getting ready with excitement, anxious thoughts start circulating in your head.
For example, you may be wondering if he just seemed to like you, when in reality you won’t live up to his or his acquaintances’ expectations. What if those close to him don’t think you’re good enough for him? What if they tell him you’re not good enough?
You have a constant need for reassurance
A person who has a constant need to hear “I love you” or other verbal statements might most likely have a certain love language.
However, if you become anxious when you haven’t been told something in this register in the last 24 hours, it could be impostor syndrome, which tells you that your partner no longer cares about you, that you are no longer pretty, attractive or interesting enough. Don’t listen to it; identify it and remind yourself that you are enough just the way you are!
You change your behaviour out of fear of not being liked
You are having a bad day or, on the contrary, you are full of energy and can’t contain your enthusiasm. However, you tone down your moods and reactions for fear of being judged by your partner.
Often, impostor syndrome also appears in this form, making you believe that you are not allowed to express yourself exactly as you feel; you must always adapt to the other person. Nothing could be further from the truth!
You are constantly worried about how your relationship looks from the outside
Not only do you doubt yourself in your relationship, but you also start to be extremely attentive to how outsiders perceive you and your partner. You fear that other people might think you are not beautiful, intelligent, funny or pretty enough for him.
Obviously, this is not reality, but just a particularly subtle impostor syndrome.