Anyone who has ever lived in a relationship with a narcissist will be well aware of how cleverly they can use language – to their advantage, of course. They are very good at spinning words and sounding out phrases, but their sentences don’t mean the same thing in most cases as they do in others.
Indeed, narcissists tend to manipulate, to limit, to constantly criticise – implicitly or less so. And verbal communication is their main tool in this. Let’s look at some of the phrases they use very often – but we’ll also tell you what they mean in their case. Let’s start by saying that they don’t mean what others…
I love you.
What a narcissist means is that they like to possess, control or even use you. Unfortunately, when they say they love someone, it is usually not about the other person, but rather about themselves.
You are too sensitive.
If he wants you to believe that you are overreacting to something, you probably are not, in fact! you are probably reacting in a perfectly logical way to his stupidity, which he is taking badly – because there is no such thing as him not doing something perfectly! Therefore, he immediately comes to the defence, trying to run you into the ground.
“I love it when you freak out when I provoke you, because it lets me tell you that you’re the crazy one” – something along those lines. That’s why it’s very important that if he accuses you of something like that, don’t fall for it!
My exes are crazy.
Another red flag: if he says that all of his previous girlfriends are crazy, it’s more likely to mean that he drove them crazy. He didn’t have to do much: he provoked and provoked until the girls couldn’t take it anymore and the thread broke. Sound familiar?
Not everything is about you.
No, it’s not, it’s all about him! The minute you try for a minute to focus on your own needs, he steps in and makes you feel like it’s not okay. In fact, he’s trying to make you feel guilty for having needs of your own. And why is that? It’s simple: he doesn’t want to share the limelight of your relationship with you!