Sometimes even the happiest relationships are hard to maintain – anyone who doesn’t say so is lying. People are different, have different views, so disagreements and arguments can happen – which are fine, as long as they’re constructive. However, there are small gestures, omissions and harmful practices that are more damaging to your relationship than any shouting matches. Here we list them.
It’s always in the past
If you’re disagreeing about something and an argument breaks out, you may be prone to bringing up the past. This usually happens because you want to “win” the battle. But that’s never what a relationship is about, it’s about settling disagreements.
Some people believe that gossip can strengthen a relationship – but this is not always true. If you have an opinion about your partner’s friends or even family members, you can let them know without harshly judging or talking about them. You can exchange information, but it is not advisable to gossip maliciously, because if you do, your partner may see you as someone they cannot trust.
Sometimes, you need to talk about something serious – be it money, goals or any similar topic – as a couple, and it’s only natural. In such cases, timing is important: don’t start when your partner gets home after a long day, for example, because you’re guaranteed to both be tense and end up getting nowhere in the conversation.
And not necessarily each other’s – of course, that’s not recommended either. But perhaps worse than that is to hide your own emotions all the time, while storing up anger and resentment. You do know that sooner or later they will come out of you, don’t you?
For many people, especially couples who have been together for a long time, it is not natural to say goodbye to their loved one when they leave home. But not only is this bad for intimacy, it can also be a sign that you are avoiding communication. So: even a small gesture like this can mean a lot – never miss it!
If you’ve been together for a long time, it’s essential that you discuss topics like your financial situation with each other. Many couples struggle with these kinds of problems, don’t be one of them! If only because it can cause a lot of conflict and passive-aggressive behaviour if you suppress such an uncomfortable issue.
We’ve heard it for a long time: never go to bed angry at each other. Yet instead of following this advice, you tend to overlook it, it’s been said so many times. But it’s a very bad practice: not only can it ruin your sleep and destroy intimacy in the relationship, but it can also further poison your next day – making the original problem much bigger in the end.