The longest lasting relationships, with a strong connection, where both partners experience beautiful moments together but also manage to overcome life’s obstacles, which can be very difficult, have some shared secrets, the basis of the interaction between partners.
Of course, every couple is unique, and how the two partners manage their values, time and successes are characteristic of every relationship. Still, there are some critical points that we generally find in those vital, deep relationships that we want to highlight.
Beyond these “ingredients,” it is also essential that the two partners involved in the relationship are compatible, have relatively common life values, are moving together in the same direction, and that they both change without disturbing the couple because, yes, over time, all people change, little by little, with each accumulated experience.
In a couple where both partners truly love each other, respect will make its way in without exception. The two seek to understand each other rather than blaming each other for various inconveniences or throwing hurtful words at each other. It’s somewhat intuitive why this is so. You can’t see your partner in a wrong way, you can’t speak hatefully to them, and you especially don’t want to hurt them when you love them. You can’t throw hurtful words at them because you see them in a good light. You cannot offend him, for you appreciate the best in the man next to you. That doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t know his vulnerabilities. On the contrary, knowing someone’s sensitive, vulnerable points is a gift from that person to you, a precious gift that you should take good care of.
Values in life
The way each person views their happiness is an essential point in relationships. A breakup will likely occur if one partner has opposite values. It’s not out of the question for one partner to change, to find that they feel better, more fulfilled, and happier in the other’s values, but change is not the couple’s goal. It’s about living together, about harmony in the relationship.
So when one partner wants, for example, to live in a big, crowded city where they can develop their career and skills, and the other dreams of a little house on earth plucked out of a corner of heaven where they can find peace and share their time with their loved one and family, well in such cases when the values projected by the two are very different, the relationship may suffocate at some point.
Long-lived couples generally have the same ideas about the future, bringing happiness to them with pretty much the same ingredients.
How do they see the future?
Well, this is related to the previous point. When both partners project their future in the same direction, they feel that way, not because the other partner influences them. Then the chance of that couple developing daily and their relationship becoming as deep as possible is very high. So if both partners want a family with children, if both are willing to make certain sacrifices in the relationship, if they allocate space and trust to each other, if they make their plans in such a way that they unintentionally include the other, then indeed feelings of true love bind them together.
Mutually supportive, unselfish
When feelings of true love bind the two partners, they support each other in all projects, care for each other, and give each other additional space and, above all, trust. So feelings of jealousy, fear of deceit, and fear of lying do not exist in such a relationship. Suspicions arise in relationships in which insecurity is present, either in the form of unpleasant experiences from the past that have not been healed or in the ambiguous actions of the partner, which leave room for undesirable interpretations of specific gestures and reactions that they make about the relationship in which they are involved.
In a strong relationship, partners know their friends and need to let their partner know where they are going, or if they can’t, they seek out their partner when they are away; they need to hear them, see them, and maintain the connection. When this connection is forced, when some things are revealed just because questions have been asked, when this connection is not held by itself, and one of the partners is not as transparent as possible, doubt creeps in.