It used to be said that “we remain old maids”, today we are besieged with questions about marriage and children, but the fact is that we feel just as much pressure from society when it comes to our intimate lives with every year we get older. We’re certainly not doing anything wrong, but there are a few ways we could increase our chances of meeting the man of our dreams.
Here are a few reasons that slow us down on our journey to our ideal couple and keep us away from a partner next to whom we could build the relationship we hope for.
You’re too used to being single and find it hard to have someone to mess up your routine
They say that as we mature, we have certain taboos, get into a routine about ourselves and sometimes find it quite hard to accept someone into our in***acy. Not because we don’t want to, but we simply feel constantly disturbed when we have someone in our home and they don’t follow the order we have established.
Maybe it’s time to leave the doors open and be ready to deal with change. A relationship requires compromises on both sides and will certainly change the pace of your life.
You can’t let go of the past
The past is what shaped us, but we always have the chance to change something in our lives in two ways: by making the right choices for us in the present, even if sometimes uncomfortable, and by establishing what we really want from our future.
Wounds from the past can be hard to heal, and wounds from other relationships can affect our current social life. If you feel you can’t get over some aspects of your past on your own, you can seek help from a specialist therapist.
Not looking in the right places
If you go out with a girlfriend after work and then come home, you’re most likely hanging around with the same people, and no Prince Charming will come knocking at your door.
Maybe it’s time to travel, meet new people, take courses, go to different events, concerts, festivals, get into new social circles.
In a rich social life, getting to know as many people as possible, you may find someone really interesting to you.
Some expectations may be unrealistic
Essentially, no demands would be unrealistic when it comes to our personal lives, but it’s possible that a combination of them can be really hard to find. Probably the good-looking, good-for-nothing man hasn’t been born yet.
That is why it is useful for everyone to be clear about which qualities give them the emotional security, tenderness and romance they need. Separately, we should know what the limits are in terms of each other’s behaviour, limits that we do not want to cross. This will make it easier and clearer what we are looking for.
Beyond what we want, we must not forget our emotions. We know that sometimes someone falls flat on their face and gives us butterflies in our stomachs, even if we know almost nothing about that person. Yes, be prepared for love at first sight too. Open your heart and let love ravish you.
You’re afraid to fully commit to the relationship
This fear may be related, as I said above, to the past. In general, the deep wounds left by being intimate with someone cause us to be more distant and superficial in new relationships.
But it is also possible that at some point in our lives, we may run away from some of the responsibilities of a couple.
Not because we don’t want to take them on, but simply because, at that moment, our life seems to be going in a direction we don’t want to miss.
For example, maybe we’re on a career move, maybe we’ve decided to take a course or a job in another country, maybe we want to move.
These big plans don’t always allow us to get deeply involved in a relationship.
But even so, we may be lucky enough to love someone who accepts us as we are, with all the changes in our lives.
So we come to the same exhortation: let love into your life, keep the doors of your heart open, and don’t be afraid of suffering.
