Loving relationships can be heartbreaking, but they are also full of experiences from which we have a lot to learn about each other and ourselves. Breaking up can often feel like a heartbreaking, painful experience that challenges our darkest impulses and should be met with dignity, maturity and self-love. If you feel that you can no longer contain your negative feelings immediately after a break-up, here are some things you should not do, however intense your feelings may be.
Don’t let hate, anger or frustration get to you
Immediately after a break-up feelings are particularly intense, and the ones that seem to control us are negative emotions. Regret, frustration, anger and the desire to prove something to the other person with whom the relationship has already ended are just some of those feelings that rage in the mind and soul of anyone on the verge of a break-up.
These emotions also generate impulses, the desire to act, to call, to send texts to the other person trying to prove something we have failed to do in the whole relationship. Of course we won’t succeed. And manifesting our feelings in this way may bring us even more regret than we already have.
The sooner you accept the break-up, the more your heart will unburden and make room for new love.
Don’t contact your ex-partner to reproach them
If you have just broken up, it would be best not to think about the way back. Otherwise you will tend to contact your ex-partner to keep blaming them for your break-up or to try to remind them of all the strengths of your relationship that they didn’t consider and won’t consider.
Leave things as they are, let the silence heal and don’t say more than you already have, so otherwise you’re hurting yourself and you can pile up regrets and frustrations. Continued arguing with your ex-partner will not bring any benefit.
Think maturely about all you have to learn from the relationship that has just ended
Even if it’s over, even if you have a long list of negative experiences that you remember in this relationship, there were certainly some good times, those moments that convinced you both to become a couple.
Take the time to lay down your memories, to think about how you could have made things happen differently. Not in the idea that it’s your fault or the other person’s, but rather in trying to discover what kind of relationship you really want, what are the limits you shouldn’t cross or you’ll hurt yourself, to define what love means to you and what are the most important values in a couple.
If you do this after each break-up, you will surely be closer to what you really want from your partner. You will then know what kind of relationship to look for in the future and how to identify those positive aspects in a potential partner.
Although everything seems like a drama right now, the future will prove you wrong
No, you won’t stay single until old age, this is not the only love your soul could have built and it all fell apart, you won’t get a cat or other animal to fill a void in a false way (but maybe only if you love animals).
Give yourself time to heal, rediscover yourself and even transform into that person who seeks happiness and gets up whenever they fail.
And time will help you if you meet another interesting person, next to whom you feel loved again and with whom you feel you can move mountains.
Don’t make a habit of checking up on your ex-partner
Not infrequently we find ourselves trying to find out new details about how our ex-partner is trying to rebuild their life after a break-up. It’s not a case of finding out if he or she is already in a relationship and with whom, or visiting their social media accounts a few times a day.
Leave things as they are and focus on yourself and not on what’s going on with the person who, until recently, was also part of your life. Such behaviour can hurt you, so it can make you feel jealous, increase your frustration or your desire for revenge. None of these feelings help you heal your recent wounds.
