I learned a lot living with you, gained beautiful memories, and took away the karmic lessons that perhaps my being needed to grow in this universe.
Why do we suffer when others part from us?
I miss you every day and every night, even though it’s been such a short time since we parted. Where does this longing come from? It’s clear that fate has not been kind to us, you don’t (anymore) love me, and you’ve decided to go on with your life without me. I think I know where this heartbreaking longing comes from! A terrible longing that all who have loved know. It’s like an addiction; you’re beside me, though you’re not! You drink your coffee with me when you drink it alone, somewhere. You fall asleep with me in bed; you’re next to me when I watch a movie, when I want to call someone when I’m thinking about what to eat.
Yes, an addiction to an illusion, I now realize. Because our time together was getting shorter and shorter, you always had other priorities, other things to do, and other people to share your free time with. But I was hoping and mostly dreaming. That’s what I miss!
In my heart, you were the best person in the world!
I miss everything I projected in my mind with you, the happiness I dreamed we would achieve together and kept delaying. I still miss being able to dream of all the beautiful things we could have done together and the illusion that we could have been a happy family with children.
I miss how I projected you into my mind and soul, an icon built on trembling emotions and hopes I longed for. I miss this excellent projection I created for you, and not you. Well, maybe you too. I wish I could turn everything I was thinking into a painting; you’d be amazed at what a beautiful man you were there.
You’re a beautiful man too, but unfortunately, not that one. I’m afraid, will I ever love like that again?
I realize you’ve gradually drifted away from me beyond my efforts to keep the flame alive. And I realized that I didn’t want to see your actions; I didn’t want to accept them, and I avoided the truth. I know I have my mistakes.
Longing – like a metamorphosis
I have learned a lot living with you; I have gained beautiful memories and taken the karmic lessons that perhaps my being needed to develop in this universe.
You changed me, and I believe I am now even more beautiful, better, and more robust. And this longing that erupted strongly after our separation has only to consume what it wants in me, like a metamorphosis of the soul, which will become lighter and more colorful, with an extraordinary butterfly.
Waking up alone with myself seems like a regaining of what I forgot in my soul; I wandered through thoughts, letting emotions dust. I now find parts of myself that have forgotten to grow, that time has left behind. I am rediscovering myself! I am recreating myself, redefining myself.
In my mind, I replay my values of a couple of life; I keep thinking about what I would change and why I would keep maybe as in a treasure chest. I’m different!
I know that a relationship can fall apart anytime and that you can’t promise to spend all your days with each other because of your changes. And if they don’t both change in the same direction, in the same direction, then inevitably, the breakup can happen. In our case, you made the decision. But I can live with that; I’m now optimistic and looking confidently to the future.
I’m lovely, even if you choose to leave me. I can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, and I know that somewhere in the world is the right person for me. I’ll see you again. We’re looking for each other.
But I still miss you, miss us…