One of the reasons why relationships lose their magnetism and eventually fall apart is that partners stop seeing each other as extraordinary and wonderful beings.
One of Ernest Hemingway’s pieces of advice to writers is to look at every word as if they were seeing it for the first time. With wonder, delight and curiosity. As if they had just discovered it. Imagine applying this advice to your relationship.
One of the reasons why relationships lose their magnetism and eventually fall apart is because partners stop seeing each other as extraordinary and wonderful beings. They get used to each other like a comfortable pair of shoes or the wardrobe of clothes in the bedroom. Like a life partner is an object you buy in a store, place in the right place in the house and then forget about because you know it’s there.
Until one day something happens – maybe an earthquake, maybe a resettlement and the landscape changes. Inevitably, questions, remorse and guilt arise. We forget that in each moment we are doing the best we can, and that a relationship lasts as long as it is given to last. We may not always be able to influence its duration but we certainly have the power to influence how it unfolds during our time in it.
We can be present with our whole being. We can feed off the energy of the relationship to evolve and be the most attractive version of ourselves every day. We can surprise our partner with gestures, messages, small gifts, things we know they enjoy and care about. Including a hug and kind words when he or she is sleeping at home.
But most of all, when you open your eyes in the morning next to him, you can look at him with curious, childlike eyes. Like the eighth wonder of the world you’re looking at for the first time. You’re sure to discover something you hadn’t noticed before. Perhaps the way he smiles at you. Or the sinuous shape of her ear. If you choose to do so, know that you are not far from the truth. Every human being is like a river. We seem to change little over the years when in fact, from one second to the next, we are different. Our whole body renews itself every few years. It’s up to us to do the same with our soul and our soul relationship.
