PSYCHOLOGIST’S EXPLANATION: UNREQUITED LOVE TURNS INTO HATE, ANGER OR SADNESS

Perhaps man’s most important need is to find someone who loves him and loves him back.

The reality is much more complex: there are many who live beautiful love stories, many who live stories in which they sometimes have unpleasant moments and there are also those stories in which, for various reasons, love does not seem to win, as we have been accustomed by Disney productions.

According to psychologist experts, when love ceases to manifest itself, when it decreases in intensity, disappears or is not shared, the feelings of the one who is hurt turn into something else.

“Whether we are talking about hatred, anger or sadness, unrequited love gives rise to a deep feeling of pain and disappointment. Attitudes and reactions in these situations differ from person to person, each having their own method of manifesting and coping with these emotions”.

How is it possible for sincere love to turn into hatred or antipathy?
Love cannot be said to disappear, not in the true sense of the word. It faces obstacles, and they influence the direction that the love of the two partners takes. Lack of communication, lack of interested listening, unspoken things, unexpressed emotions, all contribute to the breakdown of the quality of love between two life partners.

However, the question remains: What happens when love loses its intensity because of such behaviours?

“The answer, though not necessarily pleasant, is simple. We cope with grief differently and hatred, sadness, stormy reactions are just some of the ways people cope with grief. When we fail to manage the pain caused by our lack of response to what we are feeling, different coping mechanisms come into play that allow us to cope with that moment of pain. Thus, if a person, for example, is not returned love, they may turn all that love into hate, to make things easier (at least in appearance). This reaction is a kind of saying “if I can’t love you, then I’ll hate you”, which actually translates into “even though I can’t love you, I still feel something towards you”. So, in this way I am allowed to feel something for you, because you are not indifferent to me, but you mean something to me”.

See also  RESCUER SYNDROME IN THE COUPLE RELATIONSHIP

Hate is not the opposite of love
There are also many people who consider hate as the opposite of love, but the specialist believes that this is a false assumption. Love and hatred are interconnected and when love cannot manifest itself, hatred appears, allowing a kind of manifestation of deep feelings.

“Hatred arises in those moments of impossibility, inability to manifest love. Or, when you can’t hold the person in your arms to tell them how much they mean to you (out of fear, insecurity, distance, etc.), at that moment other emotions will appear that will allow this inability to manifest. If we are looking for the opposite of love, I think we can find it in indifference. When we feel indifference towards a person and whatever they do, whether they leave or stay, is still one for us, then love does not exist. You can’t love a person and it equals zero whether they leave or stay. Indifference means “I don’t care, I’m not interested”, and this comes from a lack of feelings towards the person in question”.