False beliefs about relationships
Here are ten common beliefs about relationships. These are the beliefs that lead to toxic relationships between two people and prevent them from achieving true happiness. If you share the beliefs outlined below, abandon them as soon as possible.
relationship is always second best
One of the most dangerous beliefs is that the relationship is not the most important thing. This makes it very easy to poison your relationship with your loved one. If career, personal passions and interests, earning money or anything else is more important than the relationship – over time, the bond between partners begins to weaken.
It is true that the relationship between two people is similar to a living organism: it requires time and attention for it to develop. The relationship needs to be fed, warmed and…. well, clean out the toxic elements.
It’s easy to get caught up in the problems of daily life, especially if you have young children. But a relationship also needs nurturing. So does your child. If you stop trying, love will wilt like an unwatered flower. And yet all you need is even a few minutes each day to “water” this beautiful plant with commitment and attention.
Nothing will be more appreciated by a partner than sincere and focused attention – full joint presence. When being with someone, you should listen to them without looking at your watch. What better way could there be to show love? Surely every person will appreciate something like this.
emotional blackmail is a way to build a relationship with another person
Many people regularly use emotional blackmail in their relationships. It tries to punish the other person until he or she acts exactly according to the blackmailer’s whims. The key premise here is to change someone’s behavior against that person’s will as a result of emotional blackmail. In other words, under normal circumstances, this person would make a completely different decision. Meanwhile, in fear of the punishment “announced” by the loved one, he adjusts. For the sake of holy peace.
Very often the best solution is simply efficient communication between partners and a little goodwill. One should never unjustifiably punish someone for their behavior. An honest conversation is much better. It is important that both people in a relationship know that negative thoughts and feelings can be articulated in a safe way – without humiliation, punishment or threats. Otherwise, people will suppress their true thoughts and feelings, which will eventually lead to an environment of distrust and manipulation.
Remember that there are no perfect people. The person you love will not always act exactly the way you want them to. Love does not mean subjugating the other person. On the contrary. When deciding to spend your life with someone, you should accept him as he is – including his flaws and strange habits. Of course, you can talk about it, but any criticism should be constructive.
passive aggression is better than communication
As in the previous point, passive aggression is also a behavior that can lead to the formation of a toxic relationship. Some people are convinced that they can control their relationship this way. Using non-verbal aggression, they force certain behaviors on their partner.
Instead of openly expressing their feelings, they use subtle, irritating gestures – in this way they bend the other person to their will. Unfortunately, this is a very common phenomenon, and many people do not even realize that they are acting in this way.
Passive aggression is a signal that someone feels uncomfortable in the relationship and does not allow himself to be open. Such a person is most likely experiencing some kind of anxiety or insecurity in the relationship. If everything is fine, there is usually no need to hide behind passive aggression. In healthy relationships, feelings and desires are mutually open.
Some things in love cannot be forgiven
When there is a breach of trust, and this happens at some point in almost every long-term relationship, it is important to remember that trust in a partner can be regained. Any problem can be solved and the bond between partners can be repaired. Provided, of course, that both are willing to work on themselves and their relationship. Without a mutual desire to rebuild the relationship, there is no way to come to an agreement.
How can you build a lasting and happy relationship if there is no room for forgiveness and a willingness to rebuild trust when it is lost? The answer is simple: it can’t be done. Lack of trust between partners augurs a bleak future for their relationship. One way or another, it will be a toxic and dangerous love.
So always remember that even in the darkest hour you can reach out to the other person and at least try to forgive. Or ask for forgiveness.
lying is harmless and sometimes it is better to hide the truth
I once heard the phrase that a friend who lies to you is worse than your honest opponent. A relationship with a partner is not worth building on lies and concealment of facts. After all, it is a well-known fact that the concealed truth will come out – sooner or later – and then (depending on the size of the lie) can do serious damage to the relationship.
If you catch a loved one in a lie, say it out loud. Some people will lie repeatedly in the mistaken belief that it will eventually become the truth. You must not participate in this nonsense, because then the lies will begin to create your reality. No one should be afraid to stand on the side of the truth. When it is missing, your whole life turns upside down.
