Many people associate summer with sun, sea, carefree fun and… short but passionate love adventures. It’s about them that people say all sorts of things. Which myths should be busted?
Summer romances are often idealised and desired by many. Popular culture has contributed a lot to this: cinema, books, music, art. There are so many films, songs and books…
Many of us think of summer love affairs as spontaneous, short (a few days or weeks) relationships, where an incomprehensible force takes hold and makes you do the most foolish and crazy things, and the stranger you meet looks like a prince from a faraway land. Many people say that such short and non-committal relationships have many advantages: they help you to feel more confident, they inspire courage, they inspire love for life. But it’s not quite like that. There are many myths that need to be busted.
Myth 1. Summer novels are magical
We often associate summer romances with romantic films: the sea, the sun, the sight of two people meeting, the burning passion and the short but passionate burst of dates and perfect moments. In reality, there’s much less magic: maybe you’ll have a meal together, take a walk on the beach. Culture (cinema, books, music) has shaped the view that summer romances are something otherworldly, something wonderful, like the forbidden fruit, which is, incidentally, the sweetest. Yet it can be just simple communication. So if the guy on the beach in the evening, backlit by the sunset, looked like a superhero, and the next day you realised that he was just an ordinary guy you would hardly pay attention to under normal circumstances, know that this is how summer works and how your relaxed brain reacts.
Myth 2. An unexpected acquaintance will turn into a lasting relationship
Myth. This is one of the biggest myths that many people believe. In the movies, summer romances often end beautifully: people you’ve known for a short time get married and live happily ever after. However, much is left unsaid: how they got on, how they resolved their conflicts, whether they divorced after a few months, etc.
If you meet someone on holiday who just drives you crazy, it doesn’t mean that the romance that started this summer will have a magical chance to continue. Do summer relationships last? Of course. You’ll write long romantic messages on social networks, maybe you’ll meet up before you slowly stop communicating, realising it was just a summer fling. And if you become a couple, you will eventually become just like every other couple.
So if you have fabulous expectations, you may be disappointed. Even though the person you meet on holiday in another country may seem perfect, it is important to remain realistic and to be objective about your decisions and feelings and the influence of your summer environment.
Myth 3. It’s the perfect cure if you’ve just got divorced
If you’ve just been divorced, your heart is probably very sensitive. Many psychologists advise you to keep your head down, communicate as much as possible and even go on one date after a break-up. And this is partly good advice. However, if you decide to immerse yourself in the pleasures of a summer romance, you need to weigh up whether more damage will be done. If you try to look for a lasting relationship, for solace, in a summer romance, you may create illusions that unfortunately may not come true. And this can make you even more resentful and distrustful of other people. So if you’ve been recently divorced, it’s best not to get your hopes up, even though others may claim that a summer romance is the perfect cure.
Myth 4. You will forget this adventure because it means nothing to you
Even if you’re only in the mood for a holiday, a good time and you know exactly what you want out of a summer romance, it’s better to stop and think for a bit. Even if you think it’s an adventure you’ll forget, rest assured it won’t be – you’ll remember it for the rest of your life. But it’s the emotions you feel after this adventure that really matter. Ask yourself: will it not diminish your self-esteem, will you be able to continue a long-term relationship, how will you feel about the opposite physical contact in general. Although many people claim that a short summer fling gives you a burst of energy and confidence, this is not always the case. For example, if one of the couple was expecting more than a short affair, it may be a painful experience for them that will affect them in the future.
Myth 5. I won’t fall in love
This is the phrase you’d better not say, because you could be heartbroken when you have to break up. Most of the time, you see the person you meet on holiday through rose-tinted glasses (they’re handsome, smart, charming and have a great sense of humour), and the warmth and atmosphere of the holiday. That’s why very often short love affairs end with one person falling in love with someone else. If you don’t get the same response, the experience can be painful. So it is up to you to decide how far you can afford to go.
