Do you know any couples where people love, care for and respect each other unconditionally? Grandparents, neighbours or colleagues build romantic relationships every day, so they don’t form a harmonious bond overnight. What is the secret of successful relationships? It may not be one.
Building and sustaining relationships is not easy. Many people start a marriage expecting to live together for life, but 40-50% of marriages end in divorce.
A stable, harmonious marriage is not necessarily a happy one: people stay together for different reasons (children, finances, religious beliefs). But it is not only stability that matters, but also the quality of the relationship. How can two people build a truly successful, sustainable, quality relationship? What are the secrets of a successful marriage?
Be attentive. It is not easy to find more time for romantic moments throughout the working week until Friday. But at least on Friday, try to put your phone away and turn off your computer. And don’t think about work at all. Research shows that when we make an effort to be attentive to our other half, to be more attentive and affectionate, relationships really improve, and there is a connection and trust between us.
Make daily commitments. When people think of love, passion, they forget that in the long run relationships become routine. Commitment is what we as individuals choose and understand. Couples who are aware of their commitments and actually fulfil them every day have a better chance of maintaining a successful relationship.
Playfulness. Of course, there are many serious things in adult life, but sometimes we should let our creativity and playfulness out and feel uninhibited. Playful people make time for fun, have fun, have fun. This also applies to maintaining a successful relationship. In between work and worries, make time to be together, to be playful, to try something new.
Make an effort. Recent research supports the idea that people who put effort into their relationships tend to have longer-lasting relationships and happier people. Specific examples of behaviour such as couples making an effort for each other, sharing chores and responsibilities, and caring, show that this behaviour helps to build a long-lasting and strong relationship.
Learn to ignore the little things. Researchers studying modern couples are asking why people differ, why relationships do not work out. Often people say that the big arguments that lead to divorce are caused by trivial things. It should be remembered that this leads nowhere. It is necessary to look for ways to reduce the amount of conflict and try not to be so sensitive to little things that you do not like. Conflict can be used to judge how a couple manages their relationship and to predict whether the relationship will be successful.
When the anger is over, talk it out. Recent research shows that couples who take the advice to be more flexible respond differently to conflict. When a couple gets seriously angry and then talks about it, they are trying to save their relationship, change their behaviour and understand each other. Successful couples express their point of view on a given conflict situation, discuss it and try to find a compromise. This not only helps to resolve the problem but also to build a stronger bond.
Show love. The daily routine becomes so monotonous that we no longer notice the beautiful things. It is the same in relationships. While many people keep the spark alive by trying something new, psychologists believe it’s important to keep a great relationship going in everyday situations. For example, don’t forget to give your other half a compliment. Showing affection through gestures and language is just as important as through actions.
A romantic relationship is a two-person affair. There is no one recipe for a successful marriage, but these tips are very helpful. Successful relationships do not develop by themselves: they happen when two people invest in them and develop them in an intelligent way (for example, by being able to manage conflict, trying to understand and help the other person).
