Commitment, a word with a complex meaning
The real problem with men is that they don’t really understand the meaning of the word “commitment” or they misinterpret it. In dictionaries, it can have various meanings. If we look at the first meaning of the word in the Larousse dictionary, commitment means a promise or the making of an important contract. These are actions to be accomplished after careful consideration, because they generate great obligations. It is therefore normal for a man to hesitate to take the plunge since the guilt of not having respected his commitments is difficult to bear.
If we take into account the third definition of the word: “The action of bringing something, a group into a narrow space”, the man might think that committing to a woman could cost him his freedom. This will cause him great anguish. It is normal that he panics a little and wants to run away.
The definition n°8 of the word “commitment”, which refers to the obligations of a company towards third parties in the area of compatibility, also reveals a quite anguishing facet of commitment. Indeed, it means responsibility and financial concern. Any man could hesitate before committing himself in this case.
It is therefore important for women to be a little more understanding. Men have every reason not to want to get involved. It is a choice that could completely turn their lives upside down and put them in a difficult situation. Aside from the fear of suffocation, there is also the obligation to ensure their participation in the needs of an entire family. There is reason for anxiety!
Some tips to reassure the hesitant ones
To encourage a man to really commit himself, it is necessary to reassure him. Also, after harassing your man for months, try to talk calmly with him. The goal is to determine the causes of the refusal to commit. Then, you must define together the legitimacy of each action. In order not to further frustrate the other, any form of verbal aggression or inappropriate remarks should be avoided. The objective is not to prove him right, but to allay his anxieties.
To take away their fear of suffocation, you must make them understand that every relationship is different and that no one can know the future with certainty. Nothing can confirm that he will choke quickly by living with you. He may even find it an enriching and enjoyable experience. Also, there is no reason for his fear. To be more persuasive, you can give him a concrete example by telling him that the fact that he declared his love for you did not force him to live together right away. You can also include in your list of arguments that a love relationship evolves over time. Thus, the risks of separation should not be ruled out. It is a way to make him understand that committing does not oblige him to stay with you forever even if his feelings have changed.
To remove from his mind the pattern of a father who has to work hard to support his family, you need to reassure him. Let him know that all these obligations won’t stop him from enjoying life. It’s not a matter of confirming that he will always be able to hang out with his friends in the evenings or on weekends, but rather of showing him that he doesn’t have to submit to such constraints, he can relax and have fun.
In general, men who are afraid of commitment have a misperception of what it means to be in a relationship. They jump to conclusions when they see the hellish lives of other fathers, whether it’s his uncle or his own father. You must therefore show him that you will remain the same after your commitment. You have to convince him that you will not become a shrew who will yell at him for an unfinished household task or a small financial worry.
Meaning of the word commitment for a woman
For a man to be ready to take the plunge, he also needs to know how women define commitment. For them, it is the greatest proof of love there is. After the commitment, she could share much more with the man of her life. Romantic weekend getaways are now on the agenda. There will also be plans for travel or vacations together. She will also be proud to show herself with you everywhere and introduce you to her friends.
For a woman, getting involved also means introducing her to your family and vice versa, living in the same house and also setting goals and realizing projects together such as buying an apartment or getting married. Finally, she also expects to become a mother.
