- Talking to your partner should be a priority.
It can take a lot of effort to rearrange schedules and make time to talk, especially when work gets in the way or there is a big time difference. However, talking is the only form of contact; it is the only way to generate presence in each other’s lives.
If you can’t make talking to your partner a priority, reconsider whether you should be in a long-distance relationship.
- Find new things to talk about.
Most couples in a long-distance relationship will go through periods when they seem to have nothing to talk about other than how their day went.
When these times come, it is vital to strive to find new things to discuss. Learn to listen carefully and ask good questions. Questions that help you get to know your partner better and find new topics of conversation.
- Read, listen or watch the same things.
This will help you to have more things to talk about that are not related to day to day life.
Having some interests in common will facilitate communication. Therefore, agree to read, listen to and watch the same books, articles, podcasts, music, movies, news, etc.
If you can read or listen to some of the same things, it will help you share experiences and give you new things to talk about.
- Be completely honest about money.
Lack of money can be a source of upset and misunderstanding. If either of you has money problems that prevent you from traveling to see each other or if one of you has to spend more money than the other to maintain the relationship, it is important to talk and compromise. Do not allow these problems to create conflict.
- Establish the rules of the relationship from the beginning.
Trust is one of the main problems in long distance relationships. Discuss your status as a couple, expectations about how to act when you are apart, and what constitutes commitment and infidelity.
Talking about these things (and any growing feelings of jealousy or insecurity) can save you a lot of pain and conflict in the long run.
- Give yourself and your partner space.
Many couples make the mistake of spending hours every day on video call as if it were an obligation to stay in touch. Long-distance relationships need space too.
Build a life where you are. Do things that make you happier. Do things that interest you. Remember that you also have a relationship with yourself that you must also take care of. If you are happy, it will be easier to make your partner happy.
- Avoid situations where you will be more tempted to be unfaithful.
Distance will make you vulnerable to infidelity even if you love your partner. We need physical contact to feel that relationships are real and a long distance relationship lacks that element.
Don’t put yourself in situations that provoke temptation. Don’t start going out alone every weekend with the same co-worker you know has something you like. Avoid alcohol if you know it makes you easy prey.
You know yourself and how committed you are to the relationship. If you feel you are missing out on the fun of meeting and dating other people, it’s best not to continue the relationship.
- Write to your partner.
Given the chance to talk and see each other every day, chances are you’ve never written a letter or email to your partner. Well, to give a little more dynamism to the relationship, you should try writing to each other.
Writing is a one-on-one activity. Incredibly, the privacy you have in doing so gives you the possibility to think and analyze more deeply what you are going to say. For this reason you will be able to express feelings that you probably have not been able to through video calls.
When you write, you can think and express yourself differently. Writing gives you more time and space to reflect on difficult issues, and letters and e-mails can become precious mementos for the future.
